This is the one, the one who gets to come back and do it all over again, only without the stress of competition. Languorous, she sprawls, satisfied with her spoils.

So many prospective Misses, so little time… I guess we just have to go show by show until we find the right one.

Ed can cook without hands

Ed and Red review the video game "PAIN"

Lightning-fast edits of crazy-human-fast activities of the X variety. X referring to "extreme," as in sports and what-not, not "X" as in "marks the spot" or "unknown" or "slave name replacement place-holder."

Live fast, die young - leave a good-looking corpse behind. Sure, that adage works fine if you're not engaging in activities that'll leave you dismembered, janked-up and splattered. Then your corpse is gonna look like something from a Chef Boyardee can.

Attacking rails, ramps, hills and various laws of physics with all the ferocity of a jealous Bengal tiger (and OH BOY do Bengals get SO jealous…), these folks live life on the X-it Ramp every day.

Sending out almost imperceptible sparks, shards of wood and bits of steel and concrete is often overwhelmed by the rather quite perceptible screams of witnesses, friends and passers-by.

Stunts guaranteed to wow you, tricks set to set you a'giggle and wrecks that will have you screaming, unwillingly, the title of this episode (uncensored, of course).

Brandy Fisher's got that down south flavor. Sometimes sunny, sometimes sultry. And, yes, girl can rock a party.

Lisa D'Amato may have lost her mind but it is therefore HIGHLY unlikely that she will lose your attention any time soon.

Lisa P is in the place to be. The place to be, of course, is Model Dating on Ripe TV. So simple, see?

The stage is set for Sarah to emblazon herself on your mindframe like a badge of sexy. The world is yours, Sarah. What shall you do with it?

Will she be Miss Ripe? Will some other girl be Miss Ripe? Who picks Miss Ripe? Is this gig outsourced or dropped on the shoulders of border-trekking itinerants?

Does this lovely lady have the brains, the looks, the je nes sais quoi to overcome all odds and find herself termed Miss Ripe?

The picking process is truly shrouded in more mystery than the Bermuda Triangle, the Mystery Spot outside of Santa Cruz or who the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop. Will this woman crack the code or, at least, benefit from it?

Picking Miss Ripe is arduous and rewarding only to those who prefer their ladies pored over with a fine tooth comb. Wait, you're totally into that? Welcome, my friend. Welcome.

Every week, a new hopeful young woman sheds some layers of clothing and her psychological defenses to try and win the favor of Those Who Decide. Will this womyn be granted favor?

Season 13 Baby!!! Ed has hooked up with Gene Simmons and some lovely ladies as Gene promotes an energy drink at the 7-11

Ed and Gene Simmons have a heart to heart in the limo

Ed and Red get Medieval on this show

Can Ed and Red stop the evil witches from taking away every mans mahood?

She's in the series Flash Gordon, Ed should feel very special having her hotness around

This work-out routine is guaranteed to get you rock-hard… Um, that is to say - these exercises will not disappoint, they'll get the blood flowing and your muscles - well, one specifically - twitching with all… man! Um… hey, watch this show! Yeah…

Out and proud we are of the only exercise show on earth that totally considers just sitting there and watching as fully involving yourselves in the program.

The ability of these… ladies to twist, contort and exhaust themselves in the name of spreading the gospel of physical health… is so impressive, so eminently applaudable as to appear a gift from somewhere else, somewhere… beyond.

Okay, it wasn't all just deadly serious pursuit of core conditioning. No, the wee lasses of S4D had themselves some yuks, too.

This flaxen lass may be able to get exactly what she wants whenever she wants. Except when her voice betrays her.

This Bahamian beauty looks as at home on the catwalk, the pages of a magazine or lounging around a suite in Vegas.

Sure, she's tall. Sure, she seems really nice. But does she have to be so damn pretty, too? What genetic lottery loser exists to justify her existence?

North Carolina, come on and raise up! Take your shirt off, twist it round - okay, no, just take it off and pose, please. Amanda Blair makes NC proud.

Amanda Blair's got a killer smile, a killer body, a killer laugh. She seems happy to be in Vegas and Vegas is more than happy to have her around

Holly does not like the morning, preferring to rise in the afternoon. She politely acquised to an early-rise and rose to the challenge with grace and aplomb. So much aplomb.

Willowy stalker of fever dreams needs mere minutes before the day is hers to devour. Whole.

This sexy Serb can't trust nobody. Or, rather, she can't trust anybody. Well, we guess she could be she may soon regret it… oh, never mind.

Dang, girl, you're tall. And hot. Putting those together does that mean you have less hotness per square inch but greater total hotness? We're confused.

This delectable serving of Brit-pop beauty can't wait to get home to her overseas sweetie. We would like her to procrastinate on that… not sure why… hmmmm…

Will this delicate jewel of womanhood have what it takes to be the Miss Ripe of our dreams? I don't know. Do you?

It seems like she's got it all - looks, a sweet job and that spark of life. But will she earn the crown, too? Doesn't seem fair, does it?